There comes a point on this awakening path where things start to fall apart — not because you’ve failed, but because the energy that once held your old self and life together can’t sustain who you’re becoming.
It can feel like everything is unravelling — the relationships that once felt solid start shifting, the work that you used to be able to do you suddenly can’t do or it feels empty, and the routines that used to keep you grounded just don’t fit anymore .
It feels like you’re losing your way, but what’s really happening is that you’re starting to strip off the old layers so you can breathe.
The identity that you once were that kept you safe or small or limited is dissolving, making room for something truer to emerge.
Awakening isn’t about your image or being virtuous. Let’s get this clear because it is a trap I see so many caught up in.
It’s not about looking good or acting “spiritual” so people think you’ve got your shit together.
It’s not about being into breathwork, yoga, religion or veganism etc., and then judging others who aren’t.
This is nothing to do with awakening and I wish these circles would stop using the word when their superiority oozes like a weeping wound.
Righteousness and virtue-signalling show up when people use spirituality as a badge of superiority — when healing becomes a performance instead of a path.
You can chant, meditate, read the bible, or sage your house every day, but if you’re still condemning others or needing to prove how “evolved” you are, that’s not awakening — that’s ego in new clothes.
Honestly, I’ve met more genuine, self-aware people down at the pub who own their flaws and don’t pretend to be anything they’re not, than I have in some spiritual circles.
That’s part of why I’ve stepped back from a lot of that world — there’s too much performance, too much pretending, too much fakeness.
Too many people still wearing their trauma like a badge of honour — it becomes who they are instead of something they heal and evolve through.
And that’s not said in judgment. I really want to be aware of myself as much as I can here with what I say — it’s said with love. Because I get it.
It is part of the journey and figuring it out… but we do have to come out the other side of all this. I know… I’ve been there.
The journey of awakening can be messy and confusing. You’re trying to unpack the old, discover who you are underneath it all, and sometimes you lose yourself in the process.
But your evolution doesn’t need to be a performance. It doesn’t even need to be loud or public. In fact, it’s better if you don’t. Just quietly and humbly get to business on yourself.
You don’t have to be perfect, or pretend you’ve got it all figured out, or squeeze yourself into some spiritual construct to be “doing it right.”
The truth is, the most powerful awakening happens when you stop trying to look awakened — and just start being real.
True growth isn’t about how spiritual you sound — it’s about how authentic you are.
You can have all the tools in the world, but if you can’t be real, none of it means a thing.
Embodiment isn’t perfection — it’s presence. It’s showing up real, honest, and humble
Remember it’s not all love, light and rainbows this journey nor is it all raw food smoothies and yoga. LOL… though that might be part of it, but it’s raw real vulnerable, heart mind and soul altering. It’s turning your world upside down and inside out. Shaking all that is not real out of you – the stories, the beliefs, the critic, the judge, the voices of others projections and more nothing to do with how you appear on the outside and what groups you belong to ..
This journey isn’t about appearing enlightened; it’s about becoming honest.
It’s about presence, humility, and how you treat people when no one’s watching.
You can often feel like you and your world are breaking down but what’s really happening is your breaking through… breaking open.
It might feel like failure, but what’s really happening is realignment.
So, if everything feels chaotic right now — breathe.
Let it fall apart.
You’re reshaping to the next version of yourself.
The rise always begins with the fall.
Love Bec
