I first did my Family Constellation training back in 2012 and since then Family Constellations has been one of the core philosophies of my own healing and that of my client’s. I think it is important that I attempt to explain the power and importance of Family Constellations in your healing work.
We have all been born into a family, whether we like them or not. We all have a biological family and system of origin and for others you are also raised by other people and become involved in another family system.
Family Constellation must be experienced in order to fully grasp its power.
It is an effective method to gain insight into your family system on a soul level. We have our experiences with our family; our beliefs; our hurts; our prejudices, yet on a soul level your family constellation may look completely different with things that may surprise you, even about yourself.
How you are functioning in your family system is crucial to your spiritual and personal growth and to understanding yourself. A family constellation can reveal hidden family patterns and entanglements that are otherwise unknowingly affecting your everyday life in more ways than you could have known. These patterns may have been repeating in your family system for generations.
In healing through family constellations’, we learn that despite our hurt and our beliefs about ourselves, our parents, our ancestors and any other members of our family that everybody must have their place within the family system. As we work with what we call the “Orders of Love” we see that we can find peace and harmony when we not only take our place within our family system but allow and see everyone else have their place.
In the family system there are invisible dynamics that are happening all the time, and they can be working for you or against you. There is no escaping that. Your family system IS influential on your life. We can step out of our job, a friendship or other situation, but we can never ever step out of our family system. No matter how far away we stay and even if we have to go “no contact” with some family members. This bond will always remain on a soul level. The harder you deny where and who you come from, the harder the family system will show you that you have something that is now with you to look at.
Your repeating patterns could become even stronger despite your best attempts to change. A family Constellation will help what is invisible in your system become visible. You will see what is going on in the depths of your soul and receive insight into how your patterns and actions can be connected to your ancestry. There is often something very different playing out then what people think is happening. For example –
A client says to me that she doesn’t get along with her mother for one reason or another. A constellation often shows something else other than what she thinks is the problem. During a constellation we can see that the client is “entangled” with her Father. The Mother and the Father have unresolved issues between each other. It is revealed that the Father would get upset / jealous / insecure if his child loved the Mother more due to his own family system issues. If the client was to take in and fully love and accept her Mother she would feel that she is betraying her Father. For her to heal she needs to let go of the responsibility and insecurity that is the Fathers. When this healing happens, and it may need some time to integrate, but when it does there can often be a heart opening towards the Mother that may result in either an improved relationship with her or a changed perspective and understanding for the Mother.
Everyone and every constellation is different. It humbles me that I get to do this work and hold this space and facilitate this deep soul learning, healing and insight for others to truly break patterns and find deep peace.
Soul Love
Rebecca-Lee
